My pastor preached on the principle that we should see ourselves as God says He sees us if we are going to improve our self-image. I have seen and experienced how much we can help each other with that new vision. As Ed preached the memory that came to my mind was not about me but starred my ex-husband.
When my husband chose to sober up God began to deal with the wreckage alcoholism had made in our family members' personalities and characters. Naturally our values and beliefs had to change. However, we were not left alone in our quest to merely grasp wisdom from books, even the Bible, though we did read and meditate. We were surrounded by people who stuck so close to us they could see in the debris of our self-centered thinking that sought after attitudes and characteristics were taking shape. It was those qualities they made sure to point out.
That was a complete change for me. I was used to being confronted only if I was being corrected or reprimanded. I assumed I was doing everything right if nothing was said at all. I lived by the motto, no news is good news, you might say. But now we were in the midst of people who addressed our virtues as they saw them and it was reinforcing our positive behavior as we reached for the higher values of a sane and sober life.
One of the most dramatic changes I ever saw was in my husband. Not long after he joined the organization that was helping us he told me on the way home from a meeting, "Don't get to thinking we have some extra money since I'm sober. I have to give a dollar in every meeting when they pass the basket and you have to give a dollar in your meeting, too."
What? Do you think I didn't pass math, I wondered? Like I couldn't tell the difference between the costs of a case of beer every night and a dollar at a meeting! To say the least, my drinking husband was not generous. After several months of being sober I asked him if I could invite some friends over to our house after the meeting. He agreed, so, I told him we needed to go by Duncan Donuts and get a dozen donuts to have for refreshments.
We had so much fun we continued to invite friends over after the meetings. Each week our guest list grew and so did our donut purchases. Before long we extended our invitation to everyone who wanted to come and we provided the donuts and coffee. Almost every room of our house was filled with the babble of people with a common problem who were seeking a common solution and becoming friends on their journey.
One night, after everone had gone my husbnad and I were discussing our 'party' while he washed coffee cups. Suddenly a thought raced through my mind and without thinking I blurted it out. "Thank you for being so generous. It's your generosity that makes this work."
Actually, I had never thought of my husband as generous before, but his reaction told me I had hit the mark and that he wanted to be known as a generous man. Without a word, he stood up a little straighter, squaring his shoulders and lifting his head just a touch even though his hands were still in dish water.
From that moment to this, one of his greatest assets has been his generosity. It's one of the first things you think of when you hear his name.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
God's Kind of Economy
"In those days when you pray I will listen. If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me. I will be found by you," says the Lord. "I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes." Jeremiah 29:12-14
Everyday last week there seemed to be a depressing report of the work force in America. Over and over I heard the stats of how hard hit women have been. The plight of the number of people receiving food stamps, of those who are underemployed, seeking jobs or unemployed but no longer seeking jobs, and the many more that will soon be among their number were well covered. The inference was, this country is on the skids and there is very little hope and President Obama says the only answer is to trust in the government to take care of us. However, on Sunday I was ready to pray and put this enormous problem in God's hands. In reply He seemed to say, "Maybe if those who are stuggling in this financial recession knew a small part of your mother's story it would lift their spirits. Because the truth is that even when men and women have lost the plan for their futures, God hasn't."
On the day my mother, Marian, met Jesus in a little West Texas church and made a decision to live her life His way everything changed for her. In Jesus' presence she agreed to finally become responsible for her life and only trust Him to help her. The days of leaning on other people or things were over. All had failed her but Jesus promised that she would not be alone. When His vision disappeared she realized He had filled her with the peace and courage she had needed for so many years. She made a decision right then to resist the overwhelming terrors and fears that sought to control her as well as her violently abusive husband before she left the church.*
She returned home with new resolve to find her husband sitting in the living room. She grabbed a pillowcase and began to scoop all of the can goods into it. When she had gathered everything she needed from the apartment she went to where he sat and stood before him, she extended her hand to him palm up, and said, "The girls and I are leaving. We're going back to Dallas. I need the keys to the car." "Can I go , too?" he asked meekly now that he was sober. "Yes," she replied, "but only so far as your mother's house. I'll never live with you again."
Marian had been married since she was sixteen. And though she had owned a children's day care for a time, she had never trained for a job. She couldn't imagine how she was going to support and provide for her girls. But things began to fall into place. She found an apartment in a government housing complex as soon as she arrived in town. Then, looking through the Want Ads she saw the Bus Station needed help in the coffee shop. She was willing to learn the job and she was hired. My older stepsister, Susie, looked after her sister who was five years younger. There were only a few assets that Marian took to that job. She showed up on time with a smile, listened, and learned. "I didn't make hardly any money," she said later, "but I got a few tips and I could eat during my shift so the food money went to the girls."
Before long an actual restaurant downtown had an opening for a waitress. "I applied for it as soon as I heard about it," she smiled. "It only paid a little better but most importantly, I was allowed to take leftover food home so that was like a big raise to me and I learned more skills. Things were improving. I never figured to stay a long time anywhere. I was always looking for the next step up so I did the best I could everwhere just so I could get a good recommendation. But I always thought it was ironic that I would never have heard about the second restaurant if I hadn't taken the awful job working nights at the Bus Station.
"From there I got a job at a variety store. The trouble with it was it was so far away. I had to ride the bus to the end of the line then I still had to walk a couple of miles to the store," she related. However, she got a good raise and the sacrifice was worth it since she had some money for her children's needs. "I was working there at Easter and because of my boss the girls had the best Easter of their lives." When the holiday was over she asked if she could take some of the left over candy to her kids. Her boss replied, "You can have anything you want." She laughed as she related the story to me many years later, "You should have seen me getting on the bus with huge stuffed animals and big baskets full of candy, eggs, and grass. I still don't know how I carried it all until I reached the bus!"
The next job was only a few blocks from home at a high-end restaurant. There as one of the wait staff she was trained in table service and actually began to make enough money to cover the family's needs. That was when she realized her confidence in herself had changed. To her surprise, she actually believed that she could learn, she could grow, and she could succeed. After a little time she began to wonder if she could achieve the dream she had always carried.
One thing led to another and she was accepted into the local nursing program. The restaurant was only open in the evenings so she continued to work most of her way through school where she graduated at the top of her class.
For years Marian had believed she was a looser who couldn't succeed. She had been so beat up and beat down by life and her husband that her hope had run out. Once she started on her new path the problems didn't just magically disappear. Her husband continued to get drunk, intimidate, and terrorize her along with other trials, but she confronted each one with a new resolve and the knowledge that she was no longer alone. Once she put her faith in Jesus, knowing that she needed His directions and plan, in two short years she rose from a pit of despair and helplessness to achieve more than she had ever thought she could.
*See: Available Grace: True Short Stories of the Rewards of Intentional Living, "My Comforter In Trouble", pg.123. To order click on: http://sbpra.com/mariannecassell or www.amazon.com
I'm telling my mother's story with her permission.
Everyday last week there seemed to be a depressing report of the work force in America. Over and over I heard the stats of how hard hit women have been. The plight of the number of people receiving food stamps, of those who are underemployed, seeking jobs or unemployed but no longer seeking jobs, and the many more that will soon be among their number were well covered. The inference was, this country is on the skids and there is very little hope and President Obama says the only answer is to trust in the government to take care of us. However, on Sunday I was ready to pray and put this enormous problem in God's hands. In reply He seemed to say, "Maybe if those who are stuggling in this financial recession knew a small part of your mother's story it would lift their spirits. Because the truth is that even when men and women have lost the plan for their futures, God hasn't."
On the day my mother, Marian, met Jesus in a little West Texas church and made a decision to live her life His way everything changed for her. In Jesus' presence she agreed to finally become responsible for her life and only trust Him to help her. The days of leaning on other people or things were over. All had failed her but Jesus promised that she would not be alone. When His vision disappeared she realized He had filled her with the peace and courage she had needed for so many years. She made a decision right then to resist the overwhelming terrors and fears that sought to control her as well as her violently abusive husband before she left the church.*
She returned home with new resolve to find her husband sitting in the living room. She grabbed a pillowcase and began to scoop all of the can goods into it. When she had gathered everything she needed from the apartment she went to where he sat and stood before him, she extended her hand to him palm up, and said, "The girls and I are leaving. We're going back to Dallas. I need the keys to the car." "Can I go , too?" he asked meekly now that he was sober. "Yes," she replied, "but only so far as your mother's house. I'll never live with you again."
Marian had been married since she was sixteen. And though she had owned a children's day care for a time, she had never trained for a job. She couldn't imagine how she was going to support and provide for her girls. But things began to fall into place. She found an apartment in a government housing complex as soon as she arrived in town. Then, looking through the Want Ads she saw the Bus Station needed help in the coffee shop. She was willing to learn the job and she was hired. My older stepsister, Susie, looked after her sister who was five years younger. There were only a few assets that Marian took to that job. She showed up on time with a smile, listened, and learned. "I didn't make hardly any money," she said later, "but I got a few tips and I could eat during my shift so the food money went to the girls."
Before long an actual restaurant downtown had an opening for a waitress. "I applied for it as soon as I heard about it," she smiled. "It only paid a little better but most importantly, I was allowed to take leftover food home so that was like a big raise to me and I learned more skills. Things were improving. I never figured to stay a long time anywhere. I was always looking for the next step up so I did the best I could everwhere just so I could get a good recommendation. But I always thought it was ironic that I would never have heard about the second restaurant if I hadn't taken the awful job working nights at the Bus Station.
"From there I got a job at a variety store. The trouble with it was it was so far away. I had to ride the bus to the end of the line then I still had to walk a couple of miles to the store," she related. However, she got a good raise and the sacrifice was worth it since she had some money for her children's needs. "I was working there at Easter and because of my boss the girls had the best Easter of their lives." When the holiday was over she asked if she could take some of the left over candy to her kids. Her boss replied, "You can have anything you want." She laughed as she related the story to me many years later, "You should have seen me getting on the bus with huge stuffed animals and big baskets full of candy, eggs, and grass. I still don't know how I carried it all until I reached the bus!"
The next job was only a few blocks from home at a high-end restaurant. There as one of the wait staff she was trained in table service and actually began to make enough money to cover the family's needs. That was when she realized her confidence in herself had changed. To her surprise, she actually believed that she could learn, she could grow, and she could succeed. After a little time she began to wonder if she could achieve the dream she had always carried.
One thing led to another and she was accepted into the local nursing program. The restaurant was only open in the evenings so she continued to work most of her way through school where she graduated at the top of her class.
For years Marian had believed she was a looser who couldn't succeed. She had been so beat up and beat down by life and her husband that her hope had run out. Once she started on her new path the problems didn't just magically disappear. Her husband continued to get drunk, intimidate, and terrorize her along with other trials, but she confronted each one with a new resolve and the knowledge that she was no longer alone. Once she put her faith in Jesus, knowing that she needed His directions and plan, in two short years she rose from a pit of despair and helplessness to achieve more than she had ever thought she could.
*See: Available Grace: True Short Stories of the Rewards of Intentional Living, "My Comforter In Trouble", pg.123. To order click on: http://sbpra.com/mariannecassell or www.amazon.com
I'm telling my mother's story with her permission.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Guest Blog With Joanne Troppello
Hi! Joanne Troppello invited me to be a guest blogger on her blog site today. I hope you'll check it out. She has a wonderful site full of inspiration and information. Click on: http://joannetroppello.weebly.com/blog.html
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Prophetic Messages
Last Sunday, God spoke prophetically to our church as our Father. He said in part, "Little children, much like your earthly fathers, in My eyes you never grow too old to need My protection, provision, grace or comfort. I want to see you living as light-hearted children because I desire to enter into your laughter, into your dancing and into your joy!"
Later, at the time in our service when we are encouraged to greet those worshiping with us a lady came to me to tell me that she felt the prophecy had been meant especially for her. Then, as our pastor preached he referred to it several times. Their reactions led me to remember past prophecies that impacted my life in mighty ways.
In 1973, I spent three months running from a friend, Carolyn, who had prophesied that God wanted me to write 'first and article, then a book.' The idea was so terrifying to me I was willing to destroy my friendship with Carolyn because of it. Then, during an evening service our pastor gave a prophetic message to our congregation that said in part, "I have told you what to do. Are you going to be afraid or are you going to obey?" I knew God was speaking directly to me! All of my excuses fell away. When I reached home I repented and committed myself to writing as He directed. That day my life took a radical turn I never expected or sought, but I have been blessed by it over and over again.
In 1988, I was committed to obeying a direction God had given me to open a free soup kitchen for the homeless in our city. However, everyday a new roadblock seemed to spring up to defeat my efforts. Then, one Sunday morning the Lord spoke to our congregation. In the midst of a lengthy 'word' He said, "Self-doubt and unbelief are the only things that will keep you from the victory." Today, that is an understood principle of walking with Jesus who is always victorious, but it was a new and radical thought back then. However, it was the encouragement I needed to persevere and deal with each obstacle as it arose so that God's plan could come into being.
One Sunday morning in 1986 a guest minister came to our church. After preaching he asked for those wanting prayer to come forward. I was planning to start writing a new book so I went to the front. When the man came to pray with me He had a confirmation from God that I was on the right track. Afterwards, I went back to my seat but before I could sit down he pointed at me and said in a commanding voice, "The Lord says you are to remember that your children may not always understand you, but they do love you." Thinking about it at home, I knew God was showing me something important. So, I wrote down all that He had said and put it in my file of prophetic messages. Two years later, my husband and I separated. When that happened I pulled the word from my files and put it in my billfold where it was continually available. Through all of the dark days leading to divorce it was the only hope I had that my children and I would be reconciled.
God speaks to us in many ways; a prophetic message is just one of them. However, these messages are supposed to fulfill at least one of three criteria. They are given to encourage us, build us up or edify us, or comfort us. We're the ones who lose out if we don't listen carefully.
Later, at the time in our service when we are encouraged to greet those worshiping with us a lady came to me to tell me that she felt the prophecy had been meant especially for her. Then, as our pastor preached he referred to it several times. Their reactions led me to remember past prophecies that impacted my life in mighty ways.
In 1973, I spent three months running from a friend, Carolyn, who had prophesied that God wanted me to write 'first and article, then a book.' The idea was so terrifying to me I was willing to destroy my friendship with Carolyn because of it. Then, during an evening service our pastor gave a prophetic message to our congregation that said in part, "I have told you what to do. Are you going to be afraid or are you going to obey?" I knew God was speaking directly to me! All of my excuses fell away. When I reached home I repented and committed myself to writing as He directed. That day my life took a radical turn I never expected or sought, but I have been blessed by it over and over again.
In 1988, I was committed to obeying a direction God had given me to open a free soup kitchen for the homeless in our city. However, everyday a new roadblock seemed to spring up to defeat my efforts. Then, one Sunday morning the Lord spoke to our congregation. In the midst of a lengthy 'word' He said, "Self-doubt and unbelief are the only things that will keep you from the victory." Today, that is an understood principle of walking with Jesus who is always victorious, but it was a new and radical thought back then. However, it was the encouragement I needed to persevere and deal with each obstacle as it arose so that God's plan could come into being.
One Sunday morning in 1986 a guest minister came to our church. After preaching he asked for those wanting prayer to come forward. I was planning to start writing a new book so I went to the front. When the man came to pray with me He had a confirmation from God that I was on the right track. Afterwards, I went back to my seat but before I could sit down he pointed at me and said in a commanding voice, "The Lord says you are to remember that your children may not always understand you, but they do love you." Thinking about it at home, I knew God was showing me something important. So, I wrote down all that He had said and put it in my file of prophetic messages. Two years later, my husband and I separated. When that happened I pulled the word from my files and put it in my billfold where it was continually available. Through all of the dark days leading to divorce it was the only hope I had that my children and I would be reconciled.
God speaks to us in many ways; a prophetic message is just one of them. However, these messages are supposed to fulfill at least one of three criteria. They are given to encourage us, build us up or edify us, or comfort us. We're the ones who lose out if we don't listen carefully.
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